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Many U.S. Holiday Shoppers Are Watching Their Spending. How to Agree on Gifts With Your Partner

More than half of U.S. holiday shoppers say the economy will affect their spending this year, according to a National Retail Federation survey of 8,094 adults. Couples can set a gift budget and choose meaningful gifts to head off holiday money fights.

By Auraliyx Editorial · ✓ Fact-checked · · 6 min read

Two people exchanging a wrapped gift in front of holiday lights
The short answer

To agree on a holiday gift budget, talk to your partner before either of you starts shopping. In the National Retail Federation’s 2026 holiday survey of 8,094 U.S. adults, conducted October 1 to 7, 56% of holiday shoppers said the state of the economy will affect their holiday spending, and 64% said they’ll probably hold off on most of their shopping until Thanksgiving weekend. Decide how much you’ll spend on each other and who else gets a gift, and consider an experience instead of a thing (27% of shoppers plan to give one).

Key takeaways
  • 56% of U.S. holiday shoppers say the economy will affect their holiday spending (NRF, October 2026).
  • 64% of U.S. shoppers say they’ll probably hold off on most of their shopping until Thanksgiving weekend (NRF).
  • Gift cards (47%) and clothing (44%) top U.S. holiday wish lists, according to NRF.
  • 27% of U.S. holiday shoppers plan to give an experience, up from 19% five years ago, according to NRF.
  • A gift budget you both agree on beats a surprise that strains your finances.

Every December, millions of couples quietly play the same guessing game: are we doing big gifts this year? A small one? Is “nothing” secretly a trap?

This year, money is on a lot of minds. A new survey from the National Retail Federation shows shoppers are being careful, and that more people plan to give an experience. Read on for the numbers and how to agree on gifts with your partner before the holiday rush.

What the NRF survey found

The National Retail Federation’s annual holiday survey, conducted by Prosper Insights & Analytics from October 1 to 7, 2026, asked 8,094 U.S. adults about their holiday shopping plans. The margin of error is plus or minus 1.1 percentage points.

56% of holiday shoppers said the state of the economy will affect their holiday spending this year. Among them, 43% plan to shop for sales more often, 31% will comparison shop online more often and 29% will use coupons more often. Overall, 64% of consumers said they’ll probably hold off on most of their shopping until Thanksgiving weekend.

Spending is still expected to be huge overall: NRF forecasts U.S. holiday retail sales of $1.013 trillion in November and December, up 4.2% from 2025.

56% of U.S. holiday shoppers say the economy will affect their holiday spending (NRF, 2026)
Image: Auraliyx. Data: National Retail Federation (2026).

“With affordability top of mind, holiday shoppers are taking a thoughtful approach to spending.”

Allison Zeller, NRF Vice President of Industry and Consumer Insights

What people actually want

Gift cards top U.S. holiday wish lists in NRF’s survey, with 47% of people saying they would like to receive them, followed by clothing (44%), books and other media (25%) and personal care or beauty items (24%).

Experiences are growing fast. According to an NRF analysis of its 2026 U.S. holiday survey, 27% of holiday shoppers plan to give an experience, up from 19% five years ago. Among millennials it is 38%, and Gen Z pushed the category to a new record.

27% of U.S. holiday shoppers plan to give an experience, up from 19% five years ago (NRF, 2026)
Image: Auraliyx. Data: National Retail Federation (2026).

Not sure how to bring up the gift budget? Tell Auraliyx what’s going on and work out what to say.

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Why couples fight about gifts

A lot of gift fights come down to expectations: one partner plans something big, the other thinks you agreed to keep it small. One family exchanges lavish presents, the other draws names for a single gift.

Different gift styles are normal, too. Some people show love with presents, others with time, help or a heartfelt note. Knowing which one your partner values makes any budget go further.

Secrets make it worse. Hiding what you spent can hurt trust: in a 2026 Bankrate survey, 43% of Americans said financial secrets are at least as bad as cheating. Spending less isn’t always the answer, but deciding together usually helps.

How to set a gift budget together

Ten minutes and a calm conversation can be enough. Cover these points:

Infographic: gift budget for two: one number, who else gets a gift, the rules, one shared note to track it
Image: Auraliyx.
  • One number. How much can you spend on each other without stressing or going into debt?
  • Who else. Parents, siblings, friends, coworkers: decide who gets a gift and roughly how much.
  • The rules. One gift each? An experience instead of things? Handmade only? A spending cap?
  • The tracking. Keep it simple: one shared note with what you’ve spent and what’s left.
  • The account. If you share finances, decide whether gifts for each other come from a joint account or from your own money, so nobody feels they paid for their own present.

This article is not financial advice. If holiday spending often turns into debt, consider talking to a financial professional.

Read nextIs Hiding Money From Your Partner Cheating? 43% of Americans Say It’s at Least as Bad

What to say to bring it up

Bring it up early, before either of you buys anything, and make it about the holidays you both want, not about cutting back.

Don't sendLet’s not do gifts this year. Money is tight.
Send this insteadI love doing gifts with you. Can we figure out a budget together this year so we’re not stressing about money?

Why it works: It keeps gifts fun, says what’s worrying you and lets you decide together instead of making the call alone.

Don't sendJust tell me exactly what you want so I don’t mess it up.
Send this insteadWould you rather get something you can use, or plan a day together? I want it to be something you’ll actually love.

Why it works: It shows you care about what matters to them, and opens the door to an experience gift.

Thoughtful gifts that don’t break the budget

Thoughtful usually beats expensive. A few ideas that tend to land well with partners:

A happy couple hugging next to their suitcases at an airport before a trip
Image: AI-generated (Auraliyx)
  • A planned experience. A cooking class, a concert, a day trip or a weekend away you plan from start to finish.
  • A “remember when” gift. A small photo book or a framed picture from a moment only the two of you share.
  • A letter. A handwritten note about what this year together meant to you.
  • Their everyday upgrade. Something they use daily and would never buy for themselves.
  • Dates for the year. Twelve small date ideas written on cards, one to open each month.

If one of you already overspent

It happens, especially during sales. Hiding it usually makes things worse, so bring it up yourself, calmly, before the bill arrives. One exception: if you’re afraid of how your partner will react, or they control the money, your safety comes first, and a local domestic abuse service can help you figure out what to do.

Then agree on what to do next: return something, trim the rest of the list or move a gift to January.

Don't sendDon’t look at the card statement this month.
Send this insteadI went over our gift budget during the sales and wanted you to hear it from me first. Can we figure out what to change?

Why it works: Telling them first means they don’t find out from the statement, and you can sort it out together.

Still working out the rest of the holidays? Read how couples decide whose family to visit for the holidays. Not a couple yet? Try what to text your crush for Christmas.

Read also

Sources we checked

  • National Retail Federation: Affordability Shapes Winter Holiday Shopping, According to NRF Holiday Survey (8,094 adults, October 1 to 7, 2026) (October 20, 2026)
  • National Retail Federation: 2026 holiday shopping trends: What consumers are planning (October 28, 2026)

We open and read every source before we cite it. Spotted an error? Email humansupport@auraliyx.com and we will fix it.

Written by

Auraliyx Editorial

Auraliyx is an AI relationship coach trained only on attraction, dating and relationships. Every article is built from sources we open and read, every number is checked against the original, and the Auraliyx team reviews it and corrects anything we get wrong.

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Frequently asked questions

How much should I spend on a gift for my partner?

There is no right number. The best amount is one you agreed on together and can spend without stressing or going into debt. This is not financial advice.

Should couples set a holiday gift budget?

Yes, it helps. A shared budget can head off mismatched expectations and money surprises, and it leaves room for more thoughtful choices.

Are experience gifts a good idea?

They can be, especially if your partner would rather have time together than more stuff. They’re also increasingly popular: 27% of U.S. holiday shoppers plan to give an experience this year, up from 19% five years ago, according to NRF.

What do people most want as holiday gifts?

In NRF’s 2026 U.S. survey, gift cards topped wish lists (47%), followed by clothing (44%), books and other media (25%) and personal care or beauty items (24%).

How do I tell my partner I want to spend less this year?

Start with what you love about giving each other gifts, say what’s worrying you and suggest setting a budget together, before either of you buys anything.

What if my partner spends much more than we agreed?

Bring it up calmly and early. Focus on the plan going forward rather than blame, and agree on a spending limit for the rest of the holidays.

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